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MY SECRETARY HAS A BLACK EYE. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN THE WORKPLACE (part 1)

"Why should I butt in if my secretary has a black eye? It's between * her and her husband, it's none of my business. I care about profits not personal plights."

The Bureau of National Affairs estimates that domestic violence costs the workplace 3-5 billion dollars annually in lost productivity, absences, high turnover, increased medical insurance, workplace violence, depression, eating disorders, etc. Domestic violence is no longer a personal problem or a moral outrage; it is now a financial issue. 75% of victims of domestic violence are terrorized at work.

Why can't she just leave the jerk? He harasses her at work. He calls her 15 times a day. She always looks depressed & has to rush home right after work so HE won't get upset. Co-workers comment, "It's easy, just leave him!" We want to believe that there is a simple answer, such as leaving. However domestic violence is much more complicated.

"Why can't she dump him?"

The reasons are many. The reasons are complicated. She knows he will follow through with his threat to kill her & the kids (statistically her chances of being killed increase by 75% when the woman tries to get away). Leaving an abuser is the most dangerous time for a victim.

She has been told she is a slut, whore, stupid, ugly and that no man would ever want her.

• She believes this.
  
• She is isolated. He has alienated her friends and support systems.
  
• She may be in denial that this is really all that bad.
  

She may use excuses such as:

• "He's had a bad childhood/just lost his job etc".
  
• "He's a good person, he just drinks too much".
  
• "He promised he'd get help".
  
• "It's really my fault, I aggravated him."
  
• "The kids need their dad".
  

*Author using the pronoun "she" to describe victim. Although men are victimized, 95-98% of all victims are women.